Content to Find Contentment

For the last few weeks, I have been thinking a lot about the word "contentment" and what it means to truly be content.

Like many people, I spent my teen years and early adulthood chasing "stuff". Trying to figure out who I was. Trying to find out what to do with my life. Trying to figure out what brought me happiness. I mean, that's what those years are for, right? And, you know, I did enjoy that time in my life. I had fun, I found my wife, my career and I learned a lot. However, I was never really content. Even when things were going really well, I still felt empty when I would find a quiet moment alone.

Recently, I have heard two men, from very different walks of life, talk about some key ideas, that for me, illustrate the reason I felt so empty during this time, and how to adjust to find real, honest contentment in my everyday life.

Now, please keep an open mind. Remember that I'm an expert on just about nothing.  If you disagree, or don't like what I have to say, just forget it altogether. (Or, feel free to let me know your thoughts as well)

You see, all of the things I was chasing: money, education, girls, success, status, the best party, the best buzz, pleasure, etc... all carry the promise of bringing "happiness" with them. Most people will tell you that if they could just find or achieve insert any item from the list here they would be "happy". Sometimes we are even trying to find happiness in very noble pursuits like love, charity and service to those around us, yet invariably the happiness we find is fleeting, or weak, or short lived and we find ourselves looking for more... So, what should we do?

Well, over the last few weeks, I've learned that the answer is... nothing. In fact, we should stop trying altogether. What I mean by that is: Stop chasing these things as a means to achieve "happiness". Happiness is not something to be achieved, rather it is to be experienced.

Think about it... I think we all know at least one person who feels that if they just have enough money, they will be happy. Let's say that person is successful in their pursuit of wealth... and accumulate all kinds of money. Do they then find happiness? NO... they find money. That's it.
Or the person who thinks that success and power and respect will bring them happiness. They spend their career climbing that ladder, fighting tooth and nail. They reach the top and look down and all that they have conquered... Have they finally found happiness? No, they have power, respect and success.
The person who spends their life chasing sex, will find... sex.  The person chasing an ultra healthy lifestyle, will find health. The thrill seeker will find thrills... etc... etc... I think you get the point. In the end, when we find what we thought would bring us happiness, all we really have is that thing we were chasing. Once we have it, we realize life still goes on. It's still life.

To be clear, the things that we discussed above aren't bad... but when we give them an unhealthy priority or value in our life in an effort to achieve greater happiness, the result is not what we expected. We actually will have less happiness (just more of the thing we have been chasing)

One of the better examples I can think of is this. Joe earns $1000/week. This helps him pay his bills, buy food etc. He likes his job, and isn't overly stressed. One day Joe's close friend Bob (a wealthy business owner) decides that he really appreciates Joe and wants to do something kind for Joe. So, he drops a cheque for $1000 in Joe's mailbox with a note that Joe should use the money to do something he's always wanted to do.

Now, this may not sound like any friends you have, or maybe it does... but the point is; Which $1000 do you think Joe will appreciate more? The one he worked for? or the one that was given to him?

We all need to earn out living, and hopefully we can take pride and enjoyment in doing so, but I think I would certainly find a great deal of happiness in the gift. The same is true for anything that brings us happiness. If we aren't working and striving for more and more of certain things that we think will bring happiness, we will be that much more able to enjoy them when they happen, or when we have them.

One of the key ideas that I have found allows me to experience happiness more often, is simplicity. If my life is not complicated then I can have the peace and presence of mind that when something happens that makes me feel happy, I can simply enjoy it.

My experience has been this way: When I am content with my life, as it is. Keeping my day simple. Living the moments as they come. Then I find I experience far more happiness in way more situations as I am able to experience them for what they are. I don't have to manufacture the experience, or the enjoyment of it.

May you find contentment today in whatever you do.